Bad Luck Aizen?
by I'myourmisery
Summary: "It takes time to heal, it takes money to be rich and it takes good luck to evolve." - Proff Aizen Sousuke. (AU)
1. Chapter 1

**Note :** I dont own Bleach and any of it's characters. But I do own this plot and a huge swimming pool filled with chocolate ...that doesn't matter now. Does it?

This is my attempt at a crack-fic, so for any lack of sense I do not ask for your forgiveness. :) Enjoy!

Warning : There's a bit of slang...

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** Bad Luck Aizen ?**

"Professor?" A voice alerted Aizen Sousuke to the presence of another being in the staff room. He looked up from the stack of papers that he was currently correcting to find a student from his literature class standing near the door. She held a sheet of paper in her hands. He could very well guess what it was, but he let her continue talking anyway.

"Yes?" He prompted.

As she stepped closer to his table, he noticed that her short blonde hair was styled messily. She'd probably done it in a hurry before coming up to see him. She had the tale-tale signs of late night studying: a rumpled light blue t-shirt that had the logo 'PETA' written in bright bold letters across the front and a pair of faded grey jeans. Her semi-tomboyish look was completed with a pair of black, leather trekking boots.

Aizen didn't take too long to guess what was about to follow her greeting, and he wasn't particularly interested in this girl, but something told him that he should be. The rather large scowl on her face and the time she took to reply to a simple 'yes' had him interested.

"I don't meant to challenge you sir, but I think there might be something that you've overlooked while grading my paper..." She said defiantly and handed the paper over to him.

Of course it made sense for her to be anxious about her grades this far into her senior year of high school. Every class they took mattered greatly to the students. And the grades acquired in literature classes mattered a lot, especially to those who'd planned on pursuing journalism as their future career. But that didn't mean Aizen would be giving any extra points to the girl just because she had a well-endowed body for a teenager. That was more than he could say for a few of his colleagues.

Aizen had to admit, he was somewhat intrigued that the girl had come to him to contest a grade. Few students were brave enough to ask. Rarely was his red pen wrong, and it kept students wary of his office.

At the insisting look she gave him, he decided to give the paper a glance. A flick of the eyes to the corner of her paper, and he realized her name was Tia Hallibel. The name sounded familiar, but he couldn't place a finger on it. Aizen dismissed it without another thought and started at the task at hand.

Yeah, the grammar was mostly correct, punctuation was placed correctly and the writing was concise. It was precisely how he wanted it. Everything about the early war between the angels was right. Hell, any child could relay the story by heart. So this essay particularly didn't strike him as fantastic or something out of the ordinary. He had definitely seen worse and this was probably the best one he'd come across from this lot, but he couldn't just give her an 'A'. It wasn't worth it.

He looked back at her with a piercing gaze to scare her off and said, "I'm sure you think that you've worked hard enough to achieve this masterpiece. But just so you know, I don't think of it as anymore than gibberish. So be thankful that I gave you a B minus. Now I'm beginning to regret my decision, clearly you don't deserve it."

"Then what do I deserve?" Tia looked at him with an equally fierce expression.

Aizen was a bit taken aback by her response, did this girl truly want to challenge him? Well, she should've known better. He could've just sent her away with a warning but that would make him come-across as a softy amongst other students and he dint want that. Plus...he looked over at the girl again , she seemed undeterred by his earlier scolding and dint look the type who'd take anything less than a drastic punishment to be out of this staff room.

So he brought out his red pen and scribbled over the sheet.

"This, my dear." Aizen simply held up the paper in front of her showing her a new grade. There was a huge 'D', written in red ink at the top right margin of her paper. Her earlier 'B' had been scratched out mercilessly.

He heard her gasp and saw that her eyes were now brimming with tears. He admired that she held them back.

"You can't...No...this isn't fair!" She snatched the sheet of paper from him and stared at it with wide eyes.

He sighed in exasperation. He knew it was wrong but dammit she pushed him, so it wasn't his fault. It was her mistake and her bad luck.

"It sure is. I'm a professor and you're a student. Remember that always, if you don't want to find yourself in a similar situation again."

"Sure. I'll remember that." She said that with a dangerous hint to her voice and then mumbled something that sounded like "and so will you, jerk."

Aizen smirked. He didn't think there lay anything particularly nasty behind that empty threat.

~O~O~O~

Aizen Sousuke was a man who could never be reached; his thoughts were a mystery to even the ones closest to him. Behind a clump of shaggy loose brown hair and those geeky glasses, there was a man with great intellect and talent that most philosophers and scientists bowed to. At least that's what he liked to think of himself. In reality though, he knew he could never be as awesome as he portrayed himself to be in his mind. Not because he was any less than he thought of himself. But because of a very, very formidable enemy, who'd always foiled him whenever he tried to be something beyond his appearance.

Fate. Bad luck.

Since his childhood. He'd been affected by the wrong doings of this enemy of his. First, he lost his best friend to a group of popular kids in school at the age of ten. He blamed it on the black cat that crossed his path that morning while he was making his way to his school. Then he was made homeless by that very same, shameless enemy, at the age of fourteen. There was a fire at the barn in his grand-dad's farm. They were sleeping inside the main house which was quite a distance from the farm and didn't feel a thing until the horses started braying. His granddad had run to the barn to try and free the animals and died trying.

When the cops had questioned him, he didn't mention anything about performing an experiment on the working of the fuel in rockets. It wasn't his fault that the chemicals were unstable and could've probably led to the fire. It was only bad luck that it happened.

It was bad luck alone, that he was stuck as a literature professor in a high school at the age of twenty-six. For god's sake, with his caliber he should've been in JAXA doing some great research for the betterment of humanity. Not that he cared much for the rest of humanity anyway.

Aizen sighed. Hell, this was bad luck: stuck in his chair in the staff room. This was not how he planned his morning or the whole day to go. '_Someone_' had the sweet sense to apply what the kids nowadays called 'invisible glue' to his chair. And now he was stuck trying to figure out which one of his pathetic colleagues would come to his aid and would not start silly gossip.

He was still figuring out the best way to deal with his 'situation' ,when Professor Kisuke Uruhara strolled into the staff room, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his green lab court. He was looking as nonchalant as ever. Aizen panicked and considered just jumping out the window with his butt stuck to the chair. Yeah, that would be quite a hilarious feat. But he'd do about anything to avoid Kisuke's help.

_Help my ass,_ he thought bitterly. The moment Kisuke learned of Aizen's ordeal, he'd be the gossip of the year. And the more Aizen thought about it, the more it made sense to jump out of the damn window. Kisuke Uruhara was anything but stupid. He'd figure out that something was wrong at any moment. As Kisuke looked his way, Aizen tried his best to look comfortable in his chair.

Mistake number one. He didn't have to look comfortable when he had a mountain load of papers to correct in front of him, right?

"Anything wrong Aizen?" Kisuke looked at his friend with a speculative and calculating look on his face.

Okay he should've just stabbed himself for his stupidity. At least that would save him from the embarrassing situation. But then it would be a bitch to get his corpse out of that chair. So that didn't sound like an option anymore.

"Uh hahaah no why would you think that anything was wrong Kisuke?" Aizen flailed his hands aimlessly. He'd be damned if he didn't try his best to avoid his ruining his reputation.

"Um, I dunno...you look way too smug to be sitting with that much crap to grade? Plus I've never known you to be inside the building during lunch hour." Kisuke placed a finger to his chin, a thoughtful expression on his face.

It was lunch hour already? Aizen looked up to the wall clock and then shrugged. "Guess I lost track of time eh? And since when have you known me so well?" He countered with what he hoped to be a confronting tone.

"Then why don't you let me know you? Wanna grab a bite down at the Cafeteria?" Kisuke smiled. It was a genuine enough gesture but Aizen didn't buy it.

"Uh sorry man, you're on your own. Got a bunch of crap to finish grading, like you pointed out earlier." Aizen said in a dismissive way.

"Oh C'mon a little lunch isn't gonna take all that time!" Kisuke practically leaped up to his friends table.

Aizen tensed up as he saw Kisuke move closer to his disaster of a workplace.

Kisuke suddenly grabbed Aizen by the hand and started dragging him like he really needed to get to the cafeteria to save his life. It was so sudden that he was dragged a bit forward along with his chair.

Aizen jerked his hand back in shock. "What the hell Kisuke? I told you I'm not going!"

"Aw please? 'Cmon! Now I know there _is_ something wrong with you." Kisuke had never seen Aizen be so stubborn. And seriously a little lunch wouldn't hurt that much would it?

Aizen however had enough of his brain literally screaming at him to smack this guy in the face. He was going to be found out anyway. He'd had enough of this mental torture. He was going to ask this man to help him. To hell with the consequences.

"Okay , Yeah there is something wrong." Aizen started slowly. "But it's not me. It's this chair. You see...I'm stuck and I can't get out." He finished explaining, deliberately leaving out the part about his behind being stuck to it due to some stupid prank played by some vengeful student of his.

Kisuke looked at his friend with a confused look on his face and then burst out laughing. "Oh man, if you really don't want to have lunch that's fine, man. You don't have to make such sarcastic remarks!"

Kisuke turned around to leave. But Aizen stopped him with a shout. "Hey! I'm saying the truth here man! Just promise not to tell anyone about this! I don't want my reputation going down the hill."

Kisuke turned back to face him. He had a silly smile plastered on his face. "Let me guess a student pulled a prank on you?"

Aizen looked at him, bewildered that he'd figure it out himself. He nodded anyway. "Yeah. So are you gonna help me outta this chair or not?"

"Sure just wait here. I'll get help" Kisuke said and turned heels to the door.

Aizen was relieved. Finally he'd get help...wait, help? Oh no! Shit! That meant other people would know! Before he could voice his thoughts though, he could hear Kisuke shout glee-fully, "Hey anyone here?we need help!" . Kisuke stopped merely for a few seconds and turned just a little to give Aizen his mischievous look. And the mullet haired Professor immediately knew that it spelled death.

"Professor Aizen got his butt glued to a chair!". Kisuke screamed louder than a Banshee.

Aizen wished he'd taken his own advice and stayed at home that morning. He should've known that nothing good came out of a broken pair of geeky reading glasses. He had broken them during his regular morning bubble bath, when he was trying to grope out blindly for his towel.

When he'd checked into the mirror. He had admired his look without them on. But lady luck obviously like him better in a shaggy mullet and his black oversize glasses. So it hexed him, yet again.

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**A/N :** **Haha Yeah, I dunno where this came from but I was bored with studying and was kinda pissed at one of my old-teachers. So yeah, nothing like a kind of crazy, paranoid Aizen crack-fic to fix my mood , Ne?**

**Plus I think Aizen is a bit of an Oc here, So no hard feelings to all the Aizen lovers XD**

**lol anyway let me know what you thought about this? Thanks :D  
**


	2. Forgotten Inhibitions (Part1)

**A/N** : okay so I know its been a REALLY long time since I've brought out anything . And this shitty short chap doesn't make up for all the excuses that I have to tell you. So please forgive me and tell me if you want to read more ...anymore or know what happens later in the chap ? I"ll get the next chapter out sooner that way ^.^

Thanks for dropping by!

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** Forgotten Inhibitions : Part1  
**

Peering out of the soberly colored curtains, Aizen gazed at the marvelous sight before sun just beginning to show its bright crown, getting ready for the long summer day ahead. The sky was a visual treat with all its subtle shaded layers and coated the horizon prettily. Usually he didn't have much appreciation for the nature and its activities unless it was connected with his bodily needs. But the sight outside this morning was just so breathtaking that it was hard for even a non-nature lover like himself to not take notice of it.

He breathed in the fresh air and sighed contently. It was rare for him to feel content so easily since his inner emotions were always in a turmoil and seldom did he get to relax from his inhibitions. He closed his eyes and tried stay in this state a little while longer, to focus on his current life and let his mind wander a bit before his inner demons and dissatisfaction claimed him. After a few minutes of needed respite his bedside alarm started beeping breaking him away form his stupor.

A little miffed at been broken away from his peace he went over to shut the annoying alarm off also wondering what provoked him to wake up so early. He glanced at the time and it read six ten. As he was placing the clock back on the bedside stool, a rugged opened letter caught his eye. It was the offer letter from the prestigious firm The Soul-Science-Foundation Technologies (SSFT) he was so eager to get a job in, had arrived late last evening. He hurriedly went over to his laptop and started working on the presentation that he was required to submit in order to get selected from the final few professors with adequate qualifications, who were chosen from all over the country.

He had been working on one of his eccentric inventions related to genetic mutation since the past few years and had finally been recognized by his dream firm.

He hurriedly finished his presentation and glanced at the clock again, eight-forty five.

Crap!He just had about twenty minutes left for his first lecture in Karakura high. He couldn't afford to look lax and careless in his current job as a professor, now that he finally got his dream job in SSFT . Because the dean of Karakura-high was a jerk and downright hard-ass who'd do anything in his power to prevent a skilled teacher like Aizen leave his institution. And getting late in his last few classes would mean a black mark on his recommendation letter. That he couldn't afford. Not after so many years worth of waiting.

Although he'd have loved have called in sick and just enjoyed his day but that would've probably have to wait. Aizen had a tough time that week adjusting to all the hysterical laughs he'd gain from that silly incident on the chair. But something told him this week was going to be different, a little more positive perhaps. And it's a rare thing that he ever got these feelings, so he decided to trust them and hurried out without any of his usual prejudiced superstitions in his head.

Wrong move.

~O~O~O~

"Ichigo! you better learn to finish you're share of the food young man! " The disgruntled father yelled after his escapist of a son. Ichigo had just barely dodged the flying soccer plate of food that had come careening toward his head and crashed unceremoniously on to the wall next to the door. Ichigo grinned sheepishly, as he hurriedly made his way towards the door.

Now Isshin Kurosaki isn't a man to let go of his pursuit that easy so he continued to follow his son, throwing pieces of his precious cutlery that Ichigo dodged easily. But no-matter what he did he could not escape his swift and crazy father.

Now in any other family this would've been considered a very insane and violent pass of genes . However between two most skilled and the legendary soccer players around town this was a very perfect and extremely normal example of how a father should invoke good etiquette in his son.

"You better learn to respect the food on your plate ! " The father shouted and rattled on with what he thought was a proper way of teaching good manners to his son along with the nonstop assault with his ceramic ammo.

"Alright old man! you asked for this!" Ichigo shouted while trying to dodge another lowly piece of cutlery. He swiftly grabbed onto the best thing next to a real shield he could find: a frying pan. He batted at his incoming foes and targeted them back directly to his old man .

"Ohho So now, he learns to pay attention !" The father realized this with a devious gleam to his pupils as he tried out his next best move.

"If you had been a good boy and finished you're meal like everyone does maybe you dint have to see this day!"

With that, he hurtled out his next weapon, two full boiled eggs and several fresh eggs with a speed even the great Yamamoto would've had trouble deflecting . But as it is, Ichigo surpassed even his mentor, Yamamoto's prowess at Tai-chi. Hence he not only dodged his father's special attack but also swiftly and carefully deflected them in such a way that the fresh eggs did not crack upon contact with the shield. Instead, they spun away from Ichigo and his father onto an unsuspecting bystander's head.**_  
_**

"Kuso! " a curse escaped his lips because Ichigo knew he would be murdered very slowly and painfully as soon as he realized who the innocent bystander was.

His literature teacher.

_Oh just great. Along with a mad father chasing me, all I needed to make my day better was that crazy nutbolt Aizen, behind my skinny ass._ Ichigo thought.

It seemed like Ichigo was not the only one to notice who the victim to their little scuffle was_._ So as our legendary hero stood there, trembling as his mind began conjuring up one scenario after the other of all the horrible ways he would be sliced once his mentor got a hold of him. Isshin made sure that Ichigo's worst nightmare came true by swiftly making it to Aizen's side and helping him up and consoling him with all the polite professionalism that he as a parent and doctor could muster up. Isshin and Aizen being old college buddies, Isshin knew how much Aizen hated polite, casual sympathy and used that to his advantage; all in the name of teaching his wayward rowdy son some good etiquette

"There there my good man Aizen. Are you alright? Man, kids these days sure are troublesome, eh?" He said soothingly with is infectious toothy smile.

Ichigo saw this little chitchat as a perfect opportunity to get away from the two most raving lunatics he knew in his life ...well not to that Rukia wasn't one of them!

~O~O~O~

Bad luck bit Aizen in the Ass harder than his hound, karma. Drenched and smelly in egg-yolks Aizen heard out, his old colleague Isshin in a cool manner, whereas his eyes were screaming murder all the while.

Oh only if he knew which amongst the demonic brats had done this to him he would make sure they remembered his name for the rest of their miserable school life.

After reigning his rage in, Aizen somehow managed to put up a collected front and brushed off his former acquaintance with a curt comment, "Yes , tell me about it."

Aizen stood up and hurried back to his apartment leaving a blabbering Isshin behind him. There was no way in hell Aizen would show up at work looking and smelling like that. He wasn't up to be the laughing stock yet. It was too early in the week for that shit. By now he was sure he'd have to cancel his first lecture.

Dialing the number of his substitute teacher he scheduled his lecture for later in the day.

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A/N : this was me just experimenting ...if you wanna know what happens to Ichigo upon reaching his dreaded classroom then please let me know... XO


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